Father
by RainingStarWars
Summary: Han never wanted it to end this way. Neither did Ben. Still, in the end, they were father and son, and they both loved each other.


"Come home." Han Solo's voice was old and raspy, weak from years of age. He looked tired and near the end of his will to go on, but he spoke very softly as he looked into the face of his son. "We miss you." His eyes were pleading, and his voice was loving. Han loved Ben. Even after everything he had done, he still loved his son. It wasn't even really Ben's fault, after all. It was Snoke's. Han didn't know much about the Force, much less the Dark Side, but he knew how wicked it could make people. He had heard stories of Anakin Skywalker, and Solo had seen the effects of darkness himself when Luke Skywalker had faced his own battle. So in the end, Han was never mad at Ben. He was just unimaginably _sad_.

Han missed the days when things were actually happy. He missed chasing little Ben around the yard, pretending to be the scary Sith as the child played the role of a brave Jedi Knight. Well... If you can count squealing in terror as he ran away as brave. He missed spending time with Luke and Leia, not having to worry about destruction or the evil in the galaxy. All had been great.

Until Snoke had taken that away from them.

Now, Han wanted to make things right. He wasn't a Jedi or anything, but he could feel that there was still good in their son. The smuggler wanted Ben to throw that hideous mask into the abyss beneath them; he wanted him to come away with them and go find Luke. He wanted for the Solo-Skywalker family to be happy once again. He wanted peace. Isn't that what Han had ended up fighting for the past thirty years?

He looked into Ben's eyes and felt thankful when he saw that all malice had left his expression. Instead of seeing the cruel eyes of Kylo Ren, Han saw something he had missed very much. He saw the eyes of his son. Perhaps Luke was wrong. Maybe there was still hope, and maybe in a few days, Han would be bragging to the kid about how he had been right about there still being a chance. If only it could be that way. Maybe it would be that way.

Maybe they had a chance.

* * *

It was as if a fog had cleared from Ben Solo's mind. For years, his vision had been obscured by darkness. He didn't realize what he was doing; what he was saying. It was as if he could finally see again. When he remembered all that he had done, it made the young man's eyes water with tears. What had he _done_? How could anyone ever forgive him for his actions? He never wanted this!

Ben stared into his father's eyes. His father's sad, hurting eyes. The youngest Solo could see all of the pain inside those hazel orbs. He saw years of heartbreak, struggle, depression, and utter loneliness. Though Ben knew he hadn't caused all of those things, he knew his fall to the Dark Side had done much of the damage. His lip trembled as he spoke. "I'm being torn apart," he said, his voice sounding more like a whimper than a whisper. Han listened sadly, being able to understand his son's pain to an extent. "I want to be free of this pain. I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it."

Ben became silent a moment. He did know what he had to do. He knew how to end this all. He knew how he could help the galaxy; he knew how he could save his family from their suffering. Ben glanced down for a moment, before looking up at Han desperately. "Will you help me?" He could almost see the Corellian's face light up. He looked younger and more hopeful for a moment. Almost like the optimism that Luke had once carried.

"Yes. Anything," Han said, stepping towards him. Ben sucked in a shaky breath and exhaled slowly. His arms relaxed at his sides, and he felt his fingers lose their grip until the helmet in his hand dropped onto the bridge and rolled away a few feet. Young Solo then reached to his belt, pulling out his lightsaber and holding it close for a moment before holding it out to Han. Han took the other end, holding onto it as he stared into his son's eyes.

Ben almost felt joy for a moment. He almost released the weapon. The galaxy almost stepped closer to being peaceful for just a moment. But suddenly... The light went out.

* * *

Han gasped as the horrifying red blade shot through his chest, sending chills and terrible pain throughout his whole body. His hands and feet went practically numb as his heart ceased to pump blood through his veins, and he looked into the man before him's eyes to see not those of his son... But the eyes of Kylo Ren. The eyes of a heartless Sith, it seemed.

Chewie's ear-piercing roar sounded like nothing but pure agony, as did the scream of Rey from above. He wanted to look at them; to see their faces one last time. However, all Han could see in that moment was his son, bathed in darkness and red light and a cold-blooded glare on his face as he murdered his own father. Kylo had killed him. Yet... Even in that moment, Han _still_ loved him. He loved him, and he forgave him.

He couldn't speak, so instead, Solo used the last ounce of his strength to place a hand on Ben's cheek. His eyes, though life was fading from them, said everything. They told of his love and his forgiveness, and everything else. Slowly, ever so slowly, Han fell to the side, before tumbling into the abyss below. As he stared up at the room above, he felt the wind get sucked from his lungs in the fall. In his dying moments, Han thought of his family.

 _I love you all._ he thought to himself, and he prayed that perhaps the Force that he had questioned for a majority of his life would allow them to hear. As his life faded and became a part of the Force, two people felt an acute sense of pain in their hearts far away.

Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa both wept for their friend, each blaming themselves for his death in their own way.

* * *

 _No!_ Ben cried in his mind, his vision turning black once again as he lost control. Had he been in control physically, he would have sobbed bitterly for his actions. He had almost done it... He had almost returned to the light, but Kylo had once again gained control. As Ben slowly began to lose consciousness once more, all he could do was cry for forgiveness from his father.

 _Father..._ he wept, _Father, I am so sorry..._

* * *

 **A/N: I'm so sorry.**


End file.
